Sunday, November 25, 2007

"The goose is getting fat."

So my dad asked me a couple days ago what I wanted for Christmas. I didn't occur to me that any had even started thinking about Christmas shopping. I guess most people are a lot more responsible than I am. I often don't start thinking about Christmas presents until after finals week.

I should've seen it coming though. We started Christmas music in my choir about two weeks ago.

So I've decided that I'm going to stick a little wishlist on the side of my blog here. Then anyone who wants to access it can and I can edit it whenever and where ever I want. Genius!

Saturday, November 24, 2007

A retort

Today I am sickly and therefore can reply to branmuff sickly post with a voice of experience.


Jamba Juice: Although I didn't make it up to campus today to buy a Jamba Juice, I'm certain that I would've loved it. Instead I've been slurping up cup-fulls of 7-up. It actually works wonders for an upset stomach as it turns out. I threw up 3 times this morning between the hours of 4 and 7, but then I got some 7-up and I'm feeling much better. When my stomach starts to churn, I start sipping a very small cup-full and by the time I'm done with the cup, my stomach feels better. I'd highly recommend it. (Word of warning: I can imagine that drinking too much to quick though might actually make things worse. I claim no responsibility for a person who tries out this method and has rotten things happen to them.)

Naps: Again, I would've loved to take a nap, but I'm aching all over and have been unable to fall asleep. Oh well. I guess that the option was there.

People take care of you: I've had lots of people do lots of nice things for me, or at least offer to. I thought that it was really great of people to take care of me even if I might be really crabby.


It's unpleasant: Here, here.

Throwing up: I'd have to say that this is where I disagree most with Branmuff. As much as I'd like to maintain my girlish figure, vomiting is painful. I think that it's the worse when there is nothing in your stomach and you vomit anyways. If I hadn't thought that it would be really messy and incredibly unsanitary, I probably would've just given up on the toilet and laid out flat on the bathroom floor. I was exhausted and sweaty and smelly and unhappy.

I'm happy to report though that I'm feeling a lot better now than I was this morning thanks to my loving family and a bottle of 7-up. I'm hoping to be on my feet again tomorrow.

Friday, November 23, 2007

"Are you serious?"

Another excerpt of a chat with Crolace:

Crolace: I am the queen of multiple choice.

me: I do really poorly on multiple choice
I much prefer short answer

Crolace: Unfortunately, it's not a useful skill once you leave school.

me: Unless you are on "The Price is Right"

Crolace: Or Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

me: Yep
Maybe you should do that
I'm more of a Jeopardy sort of guy
Except that I'm no good at that either

Crolace: Jeopardy is short answer.
Short Question.

me: Short hard question

Crolace: Have you ever noticed that the questions never REALLY go with the answers?

me: I think they do a little bit

Crolace: Like, if I said to you, "Who is George Washington?"
Would you say, "This 18th century military leader had wooden teeth."?
I don't think you would.

me: If I didn't know anything else about him I might

Crolace: Would you say it in that way though?

me: Not so much

Crolace: They should phrase the clues more like, "He was the guy with the wooden teeth."

me: But then it could be Pinocchio

Crolace: Yeah, then they could accept either answer.

me: It would become a little more like family feud
except for no family

Crolace: Actually, if I asked someone, "Who is George Washington?"
They'd probably say, "Are you serious?"
They should have a jeopardy clue that just says, "Are you serious?"

me: Then it could still be Pinocchio

Crolace: And the person who says the most ridiculous question wins.
It would be for that round where everyone writes their answer on that blue thing.

me: I think it's a good idea

Children's rights

An exerpt from a chat with Crolace:

Crolace: I think he just needs to think about what he wants to do.
It might almost be a good thing for him to go on academic probation.
Maybe he could join the circus.

me: He is very small.

Crolace: Ask him if he wants to be a lion tamer.

me: He could probably hide in a bottle
or a carpet.

Crolace: Tell him if he doesn't start going to class, you'll wrap him in a carpet, stuff him in a bottle, and feed him to the lions.
That'll light a fire under him.
Not literally.

me: I think that that is the best plan yet
Perhaps the fire would be a good idea too though.

Crolace: Whatever it takes.

me: Children don't have the same rights as normal people do
I think that I could get away with it

Crolace: I think the laws are such that you can get away with less stuff with children than with adults.
Ask Portia, she the criminal defense lawyer.

me: Good idea

Crolace: Say, "Is it illegal to feed someone to a lion, even if they're just a minor?"
"What if you wrap them in a carpet first?"

me: I wonder if she ever came across any cases of Peer Mentors putting children into rugs and then bottles then feeding them to a lion and then lighting the lion on fire.
Do you think you'd get in more trouble for feeding the kid to a lion...
or lighting a lion on fire?

Crolace: If there isn't any precedent, then I think anything goes.
I think you get in the most trouble for doing stuff to kids.
Animals come next,
then regular people,
then criminals.

me: Even if it helps the lion?

Crolace: Doesn't matter if it helps the lion,
Kids are at the top of the totem pole.
Again, not literally.

me: If they were, probably someone would get it trouble

Crolace: So true.

me: but not as much trouble if they had put a lion on the totem pole

Crolace: No, more trouble with the kid.
That's what I'm saying.

me: I should've written "as if"
the other way sounds like it's OK to put the kid up there if there is a lion there too

Crolace: Nothing could be further from the truth.
It's bad to put a kid up there,
but it's worse if you leave him up there with a lion.
If you're going to put someone on the top of a literal totem pole, it should be a criminal, because they are at the bottom of the figurative totem pole.