Children's rights

An exerpt from a chat with Crolace:

Crolace: I think he just needs to think about what he wants to do.
It might almost be a good thing for him to go on academic probation.
Maybe he could join the circus.

me: He is very small.

Crolace: Ask him if he wants to be a lion tamer.

me: He could probably hide in a bottle
or a carpet.

Crolace: Tell him if he doesn't start going to class, you'll wrap him in a carpet, stuff him in a bottle, and feed him to the lions.
That'll light a fire under him.
Not literally.

me: I think that that is the best plan yet
Perhaps the fire would be a good idea too though.

Crolace: Whatever it takes.

me: Children don't have the same rights as normal people do
I think that I could get away with it

Crolace: I think the laws are such that you can get away with less stuff with children than with adults.
Ask Portia, she the criminal defense lawyer.

me: Good idea

Crolace: Say, "Is it illegal to feed someone to a lion, even if they're just a minor?"
"What if you wrap them in a carpet first?"

me: I wonder if she ever came across any cases of Peer Mentors putting children into rugs and then bottles then feeding them to a lion and then lighting the lion on fire.
Do you think you'd get in more trouble for feeding the kid to a lion...
or lighting a lion on fire?

Crolace: If there isn't any precedent, then I think anything goes.
I think you get in the most trouble for doing stuff to kids.
Animals come next,
then regular people,
then criminals.

me: Even if it helps the lion?

Crolace: Doesn't matter if it helps the lion,
Kids are at the top of the totem pole.
Again, not literally.

me: If they were, probably someone would get it trouble

Crolace: So true.

me: but not as much trouble if they had put a lion on the totem pole

Crolace: No, more trouble with the kid.
That's what I'm saying.

me: I should've written "as if"
the other way sounds like it's OK to put the kid up there if there is a lion there too

Crolace: Nothing could be further from the truth.
It's bad to put a kid up there,
but it's worse if you leave him up there with a lion.
If you're going to put someone on the top of a literal totem pole, it should be a criminal, because they are at the bottom of the figurative totem pole.