Many ideas

It is occurring to me as people are responding to my blogging post that it perhaps wasn't wise to create a forum for people to give me ideas of other nasty things that I could do to people. I mean, I eat sandwiches all the time. What's to stop me one of these days in a moment of forgetfulness to paint my room mates' faces with them? Just today I said that someone was the sort of person that deserves to be pushed into a pool. . . or I referred to my final preparations as taking out small people with ballistic missiles.

I really should work on this whole pleasant thoughts thing.

Things I just never quite got down in my youth

Left vs. right
Cardinal directions
Telling time on a clock with hands
Alfredo vs. Marinara sauce
Writing with down- and not up-strokes
Multiplying by 7

Violence and me

So I was talking to my room mates the other day about how, sometimes when I'm just sitting and thinking, I have these strong urges to do mean things. For example, yesterday I was sitting listening to B-Rob play expertly on the piano while drinking a large cup and raspberry lemonade when all of a sudden, I really wanted to run up and dump the cup down his back. Perhaps it would've been funny for a little bit, but mostly it would've been mean.

It doesn't necessarily have to be me doing the mean things in my imagination though. Every Tuesday, a few friends and I do our econ homework on the balcony of the Terrace in the Wilk, and every week, they announce the Terrace is closing that everyone needs to leave. Without fail, there are always several people who have to be told several times and that they need to leave. Last Tuesday, I thought it would be a much more effecting technique to hire a squad of BB-gun snipers to encourage sluggish deserters to gather up their things a little quicker.

I don't think that I'm a very violent person. The only time I can remember losing control and hitting someone was once when I hit my younger brother after he dropped a really big book on my bare foot. (Sorry about that.) I don't even like violent movies (unless it's artistic choreographed violence, like West Side Story). The most violent game I played growing up was WarCraft, which really isn't that bad I think.

I used to think that it was normal; you know, one of the manly urges when you just gotta kill something, (fix things, cook outdoors, . . .) but after talking to my roommates, I'm beginning to think otherwise. They seem to have imaginations about what they would do if someone broke into the house or jumped them spontaneously (which is good that they exists when there are people like me who just might).

In any case, it turns out that I'm an awful person. Oh, well. As long as I don't actually do any of those things, I don't think anyone is allowed to throw me in jail.

"The goose is getting fat."

So my dad asked me a couple days ago what I wanted for Christmas. I didn't occur to me that any had even started thinking about Christmas shopping. I guess most people are a lot more responsible than I am. I often don't start thinking about Christmas presents until after finals week.

I should've seen it coming though. We started Christmas music in my choir about two weeks ago.

So I've decided that I'm going to stick a little wishlist on the side of my blog here. Then anyone who wants to access it can and I can edit it whenever and where ever I want. Genius!

A retort

Today I am sickly and therefore can reply to branmuff sickly post with a voice of experience.

Pros:

Jamba Juice: Although I didn't make it up to campus today to buy a Jamba Juice, I'm certain that I would've loved it. Instead I've been slurping up cup-fulls of 7-up. It actually works wonders for an upset stomach as it turns out. I threw up 3 times this morning between the hours of 4 and 7, but then I got some 7-up and I'm feeling much better. When my stomach starts to churn, I start sipping a very small cup-full and by the time I'm done with the cup, my stomach feels better. I'd highly recommend it. (Word of warning: I can imagine that drinking too much to quick though might actually make things worse. I claim no responsibility for a person who tries out this method and has rotten things happen to them.)

Naps: Again, I would've loved to take a nap, but I'm aching all over and have been unable to fall asleep. Oh well. I guess that the option was there.

People take care of you: I've had lots of people do lots of nice things for me, or at least offer to. I thought that it was really great of people to take care of me even if I might be really crabby.

Cons:

It's unpleasant: Here, here.

Throwing up: I'd have to say that this is where I disagree most with Branmuff. As much as I'd like to maintain my girlish figure, vomiting is painful. I think that it's the worse when there is nothing in your stomach and you vomit anyways. If I hadn't thought that it would be really messy and incredibly unsanitary, I probably would've just given up on the toilet and laid out flat on the bathroom floor. I was exhausted and sweaty and smelly and unhappy.

I'm happy to report though that I'm feeling a lot better now than I was this morning thanks to my loving family and a bottle of 7-up. I'm hoping to be on my feet again tomorrow.

"Are you serious?"

Another excerpt of a chat with Crolace:

Crolace: I am the queen of multiple choice.

me: I do really poorly on multiple choice
I much prefer short answer

Crolace: Unfortunately, it's not a useful skill once you leave school.

me: Unless you are on "The Price is Right"

Crolace: Or Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

me: Yep
Maybe you should do that
I'm more of a Jeopardy sort of guy
Except that I'm no good at that either

Crolace: Jeopardy is short answer.
Short Question.

me: Short hard question

Crolace: Have you ever noticed that the questions never REALLY go with the answers?

me: I think they do a little bit

Crolace: Like, if I said to you, "Who is George Washington?"
Would you say, "This 18th century military leader had wooden teeth."?
I don't think you would.

me: If I didn't know anything else about him I might

Crolace: Would you say it in that way though?

me: Not so much

Crolace: They should phrase the clues more like, "He was the guy with the wooden teeth."

me: But then it could be Pinocchio

Crolace: Yeah, then they could accept either answer.

me: It would become a little more like family feud
except for no family

Crolace: Actually, if I asked someone, "Who is George Washington?"
They'd probably say, "Are you serious?"
They should have a jeopardy clue that just says, "Are you serious?"

me: Then it could still be Pinocchio

Crolace: And the person who says the most ridiculous question wins.
It would be for that round where everyone writes their answer on that blue thing.

me: I think it's a good idea

Children's rights

An exerpt from a chat with Crolace:

Crolace: I think he just needs to think about what he wants to do.
It might almost be a good thing for him to go on academic probation.
Maybe he could join the circus.

me: He is very small.

Crolace: Ask him if he wants to be a lion tamer.

me: He could probably hide in a bottle
or a carpet.

Crolace: Tell him if he doesn't start going to class, you'll wrap him in a carpet, stuff him in a bottle, and feed him to the lions.
That'll light a fire under him.
Not literally.

me: I think that that is the best plan yet
Perhaps the fire would be a good idea too though.

Crolace: Whatever it takes.

me: Children don't have the same rights as normal people do
I think that I could get away with it

Crolace: I think the laws are such that you can get away with less stuff with children than with adults.
Ask Portia, she the criminal defense lawyer.

me: Good idea

Crolace: Say, "Is it illegal to feed someone to a lion, even if they're just a minor?"
"What if you wrap them in a carpet first?"

me: I wonder if she ever came across any cases of Peer Mentors putting children into rugs and then bottles then feeding them to a lion and then lighting the lion on fire.
Do you think you'd get in more trouble for feeding the kid to a lion...
or lighting a lion on fire?

Crolace: If there isn't any precedent, then I think anything goes.
I think you get in the most trouble for doing stuff to kids.
Animals come next,
then regular people,
then criminals.

me: Even if it helps the lion?

Crolace: Doesn't matter if it helps the lion,
Kids are at the top of the totem pole.
Again, not literally.

me: If they were, probably someone would get it trouble

Crolace: So true.

me: but not as much trouble if they had put a lion on the totem pole

Crolace: No, more trouble with the kid.
That's what I'm saying.

me: I should've written "as if"
the other way sounds like it's OK to put the kid up there if there is a lion there too

Crolace: Nothing could be further from the truth.
It's bad to put a kid up there,
but it's worse if you leave him up there with a lion.
If you're going to put someone on the top of a literal totem pole, it should be a criminal, because they are at the bottom of the figurative totem pole.